Aman5000’s Weblog
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May
21

“A Long long time ago, I can still remember…”

Of course, a long time only being 365 days ago. If technicalities were requested and an accurate account of a previous date was recommended of the actual moment my life was change, that number would be many times larger. Today, my wife and I celebrate the annual reminder of the public moment (not including including when we became “Facebook official”) that her and I promised our lives to one another. This one in particular is special in that in signifies our first of many annual reminders of that special day.

The one-year anniversary that many couples today strive to reach has become a reality for us. We made it. I, to many of my friends surprise, did in fact NOT screw it up. From the moment we said “I do” to this morning when I was woken up at 5:45 a.m. with a kiss on the cheek and some of the sweetest words I have ever heard float pleasantly into my ear, smacking my R.E.M. cycle off whack to the point that I was instantly hearing, “happy one-year, sweetheart! I love you.” There is no one in this world, not even the grumpiest old fart, that would prefer the buzzing sound of an old box screaming loudly five times alarming you that it is yet another day to slum through, over the delightful sound of the person you love taking only 15 seconds to express a subtle yet perfect emotion on a special, momentous day like today, our one-year wedding anniversary. This day means more to us than most would think. Our first 365 days came with more than its “fair share” of struggles and obstacles than we were warned about. Story-time anyone?

Within our first six months of marriage, we participated in the typical marital excitement that is… the move-in day. More than 10 car trips to-and-from her house to mine with more articles of clothing than any one human being should be aloud to possess and the shoes… nevermind, that may be for another time. I have never seen so many make-up items, dangly thingies, and hook-em holders. Then there was the car trips to deliver my items that I had “grown out of” and were “out of style” to local charities and consignment shops. Needless to mention, that was the beginning to an exciting journey that I had not even the slightest of idea of any map that would even know how to chart the direction in which we were traveling. Yeah, take a second and read that line again and maybe you had an idea of the excitement that we were having. Also, within those exciting months, we also had to uproot, yet again, her classroom for the third time. This is not a pretty picture that most would think is easy peasy. This means new sticky stick-ems, more “higher on the left”s and a new kind of wall art. I now consider myself a certified classroom decorating extraordinaire. Try me. These may sound like fun times, and yes they were very interesting and had many high moments, but that is not all our first six months had in store.

Excitedly, both our parents were able to be at our wedding. During our wedding, I believe our mothers went through three boxes of Puffs, the thick fluffy stuff, not the thin trashy stuff. My dad, of course, kept a stern look to hold back the tears I know he was strong enough to hold back. We both are good like that. It’s a good thing to hold back emotions right? Anyways, four months after our wedding my father got sick and was in the hospital for a few days. It was a scary time. Not a fun time. “Hard” would be sugar coating this feeling. After those few days, he came out better and began improving. That was until our second six months began.

December 21 rolled around and we were about to celebrate our first Christmas together. She was prepared and had everything wrapped while the A-typical male drive that was…well, me had only one present wrapped and about four or five others waiting to be wrapped…waiting to be brought home… waiting to be picked up… waiting to be paid for… yes, waiting to be decided upon. OK! I procrastinate a little bit. What of it? I did have a few ideas and was planning to pick them out before Christmas morning, stores are still open on Christmas Eve, right? Anyways, we were at my mothers house in Kentucky when we received a call alerting us that my father was being rushed to ICU for lack of oxygen and many other symptoms that were a severe sign of immediate emergency care. We made it home and was able to secure our confirmation that he was stable and improving.

We made it through Christmas, I did not screw it up thank you very much, and had JUST flipped the coin on a new year, ringing in our first year as a newlywed couple, when dad was released from the hospital January 1. Not a week later, January 6, Sarah and I experienced our first loss and biggest obstacle that we would encounter. Our first test, not eight months after “I do”, we lost my dad. Without going into the many important details of my father being the figure I grasped on to and leaned upon, understand that it was the last place I would ever want to end up in. I tend to not have any enemies, but if I did… don’t worry, I would not even wish you there to that place of heartache. And so we fast-tracked our emotional levels to a point that we were not yet prepared to take them, grasped each others hands, and loosened our emotional boundaries a little more than our comfort level would allow to in order for us to express our hardest struggle yet.

The second six months ended very similarly to its beginning. Not a week ago today, we received the news of the loss of my grandfather, my fathers father. He was the example that my dad used to build me, teach me, and mold me into. Poppa was the essential grandfather optimizes the ideal version of what one should be. He gave his country many years of service in WWII, he gave his community his commitment as a Free Mason, and he gave his life to the protection and happiness of his family. Knowing that next to my cousin, I am what is left of a line of men that have had a history of proving their worth and raising children that will hopefully do the same. Even during yet another hard time for Sarah and I, we were able to show our vulnerability and trust in each other.

Thank you to friends and family that reminded us to be strong because, “your first year of marriage is always the hardest”. We take this now with a grain of salt, knowing that within our first year we have overcame obstacles that would have normally tore families apart, caused a riff between couples that would have taken years to overcome, or even cause some to break the commitment that they gave one another those 365 days before that bonded them together until death would they part.

We understand that Satan and the world will continue the throw things in our path in an attempt to disprove Mark 10:9 and sever what the Lord has brought together. But with faith, hope, and love we will conquer even the hardest years to come. However, using our first 365 as a precedent of years to come, I think we have a pretty good fighting chance to secure a victory to whatever may come our way.

Sarah, I am truly thankful for the love and patience that you have given me over the past few years that has been our relationship. It could not have began at a more important stage in my life. This proves even more than if the Lord brings you to it, He will bring you through it. I truly believe he put you in my life knowing that you would be the constant, you would be the exception, and you would be the one that would be my partner through life and, this past year being the example, through death. I could not have planned this any more perfectly. Though other girls in my life came and went, there was only one that I would have wanted to stop sand stay for good. You are the reason for any song, you are the meaning behind every word, you are the purpose for the one life I get to live. I love you with all of my heart and thank you for being the one that I get to celebrate the first 365 with. I can only imagine what each 365 will offer from here on out.

                                                                                                                HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

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Feb
24

Some things can’t be replaced,

Some things are not mistakes.

There are times in life when our feelings will be mixed,

There are times in life when we just can’t be fixed.

Death will soon come to us all. At times it will be so far away that you will not ever knew it happened. But, if you are among the unfortunate that has to be holding the hand of the one that has lost the very life that has pushed them day after day. . . you are not alone.

Knowledge is an amazing thing, but it can surely be one heck of an enemy. Knowing that one day each of us are to lose our twinkle, our spirit and soul, will make us think that we are on a road that will create a pathway laced in multi-directed confusion. Do we go one way that is life changing, making each day count as the last? Possibly we will remain stagnant, hoping that we will feel joy and excitement again if we remain neutral. We all are hurting and do not want to decide for ourselves.

The truth is that one thing will ensure our path is leading in a direction, any direction. We must continue to move. Move. Move on to your next door. Move on to your next moment in time. Nothing great ever came from sitting still, on your butt. With the exception of getting a phone call while sitting on said butt, telling you that you are the newest winner of a Pick-10 lotto extravaganza. Congrats! But that’s pretty much it. Move. You have to have an ending before you can have a new beginning.

So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other
beginning’s end–Semisonic – “Closing Time”
For lack of understanding how to take out “quotes” and go back to typing normal, I will finish in this stupid “quotes” style.
The fact is we will feel unfixable. People will say, “Sorry for your loss” or “Let us know what we can do for you”, which is great! You have friends. HOORAY! But, there is nothing that can done to fix what is undone. There is a void. There is a gaping hole in the one place that felt so whole for so very long. It hurts. There will be pain. There will be sorrow. You must understand this. Dark times come upon us all. In those dark times are when we can find the light or the reason to move once again; to enjoy once again.
We will soon be seeing the ones we have lost. Then, in that instance, in that moment when all our sadness descends into the depths of forgetfulness, we will know that our decision to MOVE and choose to look past our sorrow and through our tears will have proven more than its worth when we can smile with him once again.Those feelings that were once mixed, our heart is now once again. . . fixed.
Dec
04

Is it so wrong for the debates for the next candicy for the President of 2008 to be viewed and have a hand in hand association with YouTube?  I mean, arguments suggest that YouTube only reaches out those who are boring and spend their social life, or lack there of in the virtual community.  Do we really want to hear the opinions of those kind of people on a national televised debate?  Well, if you are really that rediculous and dont understand the idea of free speech than you would agree that it owould be a bad idea! HOWEVER, where would we be if people like those who prefer to be behind a screen than in public actually stayed behind there?  I think its an amazing oppurtunity for viewers to show videos and take videos and use them for the debates!  I enjoy hearing more than just the candidates and the scripted, panel guided audience members opinions.  Let me hear the opinion of the guy in his room who plans to take over the world because he feels the US isnt doing enough in the war, he has a voice and deserves to be heard!  Why do you think so many people are oging against the government now a days?  We need to relax and understand that we are not just one person, but one unit of about 50 states and billions of voices!  If your mouth is closed then your mind is useless!!!!!!

Nov
17

Music has come along way in regards to the way it is produced!  There are sooo many new, different types of systems that you can edit, manage and produce with now a days that pretty much anyone can be a music artist with a well sounded track!  Now, with the advancement in this technology there brings the question of the industry not needed musicians anymore!  Applications like Garageband allows you to add voices, sound effect, and beats with just a click of a button!  Who needs musicians if all it takes is a trip to the store to buy these tools?  I think there will always be a need for musicians but they need to show they are needed cause its a hard world out there where technology is awlays increasing to new levels where it always cuts another level or area out that wont be needed any longer!  Be careful musicians or you will be the next to go!!!

Nov
06

The presentation on how the world is becoming more wireless was really interesting simply because its true.  mostly everything in some way has or is becoming wireless.  The improvements and advancements on technologies has made it more easy to imagine and predict how things will be advanced and introduced to a wireless community.  The guys made the presentation seem as if wireless would soon be everywhere, but I think that no matter how many advancements and upgrades technologies take… there will always been wires to deal with.  Even the computer im on now is connected to four different wires, only one of which I would need, the printer, and still be able to use it!  I am interested to see how new innovations will contribute to a world where wires will become non-existent!!

Oct
15

Listening to the discussion about Mac and its innovations throughout the years really made me think about how much its seems they can get in the spotlight quick and easily.  They did real well about giving us the outline of how Mac came into excistence and how they have performed and came out on the other side.  The best part about their presentation was the point that one person for Mac really made it become the kind of well oiled machine it has become.  When he left, the business went down and stayed that way until he came back… One man really can have a difference on a companies gain or loss.  One thing I wish they could have gone into more detail about would be the financial aspect of the company and how Mac has prgressed as their technology has advanced.  I for one have yet to dive into or hop on bored the Mac train, but im sure one of these day…. one of these days… the cult.. no, club of the Mac will take over and I will fall in love with ichats and itunes and ivideos… gee, cant wait! :  )

Sep
23

I have always been really excited about the new tehno. stuff that comes out, yet I seem to always be the last one to find out about it!  I am actually a late bloomer when it comes to the new things that hit the stores! I mean, I really wish I could keep up with everything but everywhere I turn something is being introduced, something brand new or even better then the first of its kind!  Even when I hear about it, the prices have already gone down! Anyone feel me on that?  I STILL dont have an ipod, call me crazy I know!  Oh well, soon and very soon I will live the life of leisure, buying things at will and having the newest and coolest before most everyone else!!

Sep
16

In some cases I think thats its necessary to blog, especially for those people who feel a need to hide behind something in order for their protection to become secure.  I have honestly never blogged, but this doesnt mean I dont agree with it!  I think its a great way for people who have trouble expressing themself openly, to feel free to have no bars in their way and nothing judging them.  If someone has strong opinions aobut things then they can reflect that with out fully revealing themself in the open.  I think its a way for people to cop out in certain ways!  They talk all the talk, but in most cases, will not publish their true identity which is being honest and I for one can not take that kind of person for real!  I may have a tainted type of mind set in this case, because I dont really care for blogging that much and when asked to reflect on it… I just really could care less for it!  Redundant, I know, but just the way I see it!  : X

Sep
05

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